Everything Wrong with The Picnic
by Exotos135
Summary: Emperor Awesome and Wander aren't the only ones Hater has to worry about before the arrival of the Celestial Being.


Disclaimer: Everything belongs to their respective owners.

This "Everything Wrong With" fanfic wasn't inspired by lknmjh and her "Everything Wrong With Star vs the Forces of Evil Season 1", but I would still greatly appreciate it if you checked them out.

Okay, so the writing is as follows:

- **Bold** equals what I say and the sin counter.

- _Italic_ is what the characters in the show are saying.

\- Normal is when actions are being described.

Also, since this is based on CinemaSins "Everything Wrong With" series, it would be a good idea to watch their content and get a better understanding of their humor if you haven't already. If you have, then welcome to the party.

Hey, just before we go on, I'd like to apologize in advance for any extremely harsh or mean thing I'll say through this fic. I'm here to point the flaws of an episode, yes, but sometimes I can get carried away. So, without further ado, thanks you for reading, and I hope you enjoy.

* * *

 **Everything Wrong**

 **With**

 **THE PICNIC**

 **In...some minutes or less.**

 **Spoilers!**

 **(OF COURSE!)**

* * *

The episode opens on a planet with a temple under a set of aligning planets. And then it cuts to a close up of Lord Hater.

 **"EXTREME CLOSE UP!"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 1**

* * *

 _You have arrived too late, Emperor Awesome! Soon, the whole universe, WILL BE MINE!_

 **"You're too late" and "take over the world"cliché."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 3 (+2)**

* * *

It cuts to Emperor Awesome...who is a shark humanoid that talks like the stereotypical surfer guy.

 **"A surfer shark dude? Okay, now I've seen everything."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 4**

* * *

 _Fire breath!_

The battle dinosaur shoots fire at Lord Hater...and misses Lord Hater.

 _You fool!_

 **"I know, right? He wasted some perfectly good fire breath."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 5**

* * *

 _You see, every millennium-_

 **"Every 'X' years" cliché."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 6**

* * *

 _Hey Hater!_

Hater turns around to see Wander far, far away.

 **"Suddenly orange walking hairy spoon."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 7**

* * *

 _Are you here to see the planet alignment too?_

 **"Now that I think about it, if Wander came here to see the planets align then the existence of the celestial being and the millennium alignment must be no secret, or at least well known. So why are Hater, Wander and Awesome the only ones in the planet for the celestial being, or the only ones in the planet at all for that matter?"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 8**

* * *

Hater tries to continue, but Wander keeps interrupting him.

 **"That time when you try to say something important, but some oblivious goofball keeps interrupting you."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 9**

* * *

 **"Not a sin, but I genuinely want to know if Wander is so oblivious that he can't notice Hater is too busy with something else, or if he's messing with him on purpose."**

* * *

Wander explains where's Sylvia: in a nutshell, she's in the bathroom, and she told him not to tell anyone.

 **"If Sylvia didn't want anybody to learn about it, and she knew Wander usually blabs things out loud, why did she tell him all that stuff anyway?"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 10**

* * *

 _I DON'T CARE!_

 **"Hater's reaction mirrors mine."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 11**

* * *

The next is said as the Fist Fighters play Awesome's mix.

 **"So, if the Fist Fighters are literally humanoids with fists for heads, then how do they work? They have no eyes, so they shouldn't be able to see anything."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 12**

* * *

Lord Hater, holding, begins the countdown.

 _10..._

 **"Villain uses a countdown instead of doing whatever they have to do immediately" cliché."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 13**

* * *

Wander goes down the crater slowly, and once he reaches the ground and puts the picnic basket, he tries to open the closed basket without using the latch, much to no avail.

 **"There are times when Wander's antics are either funny and enjoyable, or dragging and annoying. This particular case is unfortunately in the latter category for me."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 14**

* * *

Hater continues to watch Wander being Wander as Peepers only calls after a while.

 _Sir!_

 _Wha?_

 **"I don't know how much time was wasted between Hater watching Wander being Wander, but you definitely could have spoken earlier, Peepers. You are supposed to pay attention to Hater, after all."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 15**

* * *

 _Oh, the latch is closed!_

 _ARE YOU SERIOUS?!_

 **"Again, Hater's reaction mirrors mine."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 16**

* * *

 _Don't worry, sir! We still got Defense Protocol Epsilon X0973 Tesseract!_

Peepers opens a briefcase with a pair of gauntlets and. Hater takes the gauntlets and not the headphone.

 **"Okay, the gauntlets are used to control the thing, so what does the headphone do?"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 17**

* * *

 **"Also, "Villain owns a giant robot/vehicle/whatever that has a huge resemblance to themselves" cliché."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 18**

* * *

 _Hater, do you even know how hard I slam?_

 **"Come on and slam! Welcome to the jam!"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 19**

* * *

Wander seemingly utters the next as Hater's robot and Awesome's battle dinosaur.

 _I can't believe Sylvia's missing this._

 **"Geez, he's definitely not talking about anything el-"**

And it turns out he's talking about his picnic, which he takes a picture of.

 **"Called it."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 20**

* * *

Wander interrupts the fight and turns to Hater's robot.

 _Hey robot man, want a sandwich?_

 **"Shouldn't you ask him if he can eat first?"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 21**

* * *

Hater's rage is built to the point his robot pushes Awesome's battle dinosaur, crouches to yell at Wander...and then has it's head eaten by the dinosaur.

 **"Talk about losing your head."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 22**

* * *

The robot spins before hitting the ground.

 **"Since the robot is supposed to follow Hater's movements due to the gauntlets, either Hater actually took the trouble to spin around and hit the ground, or the robot just acted on it's own for some reason."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 23**

* * *

After landing, Wander hands over the sandwich to the robot's arm as he says he'll leave it there just to be sure.

 **"Okay one, why doesn't Wander notice that the robot is 'dead'?"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 24**

* * *

 **"Second, that robot arm is far smaller than how it was before."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 25**

* * *

And then, Wander took a selfie with the robot's decapitated body.

 **"Discount Cassie Cage fatality."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 26**

* * *

Just as Emperor Awesome's forces reach the temple, Lord Hater summons a force field and they hit it.

 _Ha ha! Got force field?_

 **"Ha ha! Got meme?"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 27**

* * *

 **"Actually, come to think of it, if Hater can summon force fields that easily, why didn't he summon it in the first place?"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 28**

* * *

Just as Hater finished bragging, it turns out Wander's next to him.

 **"Wait, how did he get in?"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 29**

* * *

Hater patience is tested once more and he eventually yells:

 _GET OUTTA HERE!_

 **"How? You're both surrounded by a force field."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 30**

* * *

Then, just as Wander tries to get out, Peepers comes out from the outside of the portal and tries to get in.

 **"Wait, up until this point, Peepers has been close to hater, so what is he doing outside the force field?"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 31**

* * *

Hater begins chasing Wander.

 _SLOW DOWN! I JUST WANNA DESTROY YOU!_

 **"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends reference. No, I'm not kidding, it's really a reference to that. And I like it, minus 1 sin."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 30 :)**

* * *

As he runs for his life, Wander says the next:

 _Sorry, Hater, did you want the mayo?_

 **"Unless Wander handed Hater a sandwich offscreen or knew that Hater was piloting the giant robot, which is unlikely, then that line makes no sense."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 31 :(**

* * *

Wander is sitting at a cliff, watching obliviously as an angry Hater stalks over him.

 _There's the planets, the pyramid, the shark guy about to get ultimate power..._

That last sentence shocks Hater back into reality, and it's shown Awesome and the Fist Fighters are celebrating at the pyramid.

 **"Villain/Antagonist celebrates before their plans succeed" cliché."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 32**

* * *

Lord Hater runs up the staircase telling no, while Peepers follows him and shouts ecstatic yes.

 **"YES! YES!"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 33**

* * *

 _You lose, Hater! The universe is-_

And then Hater hits Awesome with one of his Fist Fighters so hard he crashes through the planet.

 _No!_

 **"I'm sure there's something to sin here, but I'm too amazed by the fact that Hater punched someone hard enough to send them crashing through the planet to find it. Minus 2 sins."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 31**

* * *

The celestial being makes an epic entrance as he materializes in a contraption on top of the pyramid...and then it shows him with a bored look and as a constantly shifting mass of colors.

 **"Well, that was anti-climatic."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 32**

* * *

Peepers lunges at Wander, who reached the pyramid, and is promptly stunned thanks to Wander's camera's flash.

 **"Quite honestly, what was Peepers hoping to accomplish by lunging at the guy with a camera? And one that had the 'flash' feature on to boot?"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 33**

* * *

 _I WISH FOR YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE FOR FIVE SECONDS!_

 _Fine, if that's what you want._

The celestial being grants Hater's wish by freezing Wander in place.

 **"Don't feel bad, Hater. There have been worse wishes."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 34**

* * *

 _Do-over!_

 _Sorry man, try again next millennium._

Then the celestial being leaves.

 **"Hold it, Peepers is still here, so wouldn't he be able to wish for Hater to control the universe?"**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 35**

* * *

Hater grimaces in disappointment as peepers says:

 _3...2...1_

 **"Actually, It's been more than 5 seconds since the wish was made, at least in real life. It's been 22, the wiki says so."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 36**

* * *

 **"Also, "character makes a countdown before pointing at whatever was the reason for the countdown" cliché."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 37**

* * *

Sylvia comes out of the bathrooms locatedbehind the pyramid, and after a short remark, she comes to Wander.

 _So, what did I miss?_

 **"Not much really, just the entire episode."**

* * *

 **Episode Sin Counter: 38**

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **Sin Tally: 38**

 **Sentence: ...Have Wander ask you whether you want your turkey sandwich with mayo or mustard.**

 **(Mustard or mayo? Mustard or mayo? Mustard or mayo? Mustard or mayo?)**


End file.
